Anne 

As I close in to my graduation of high school and journey into college for athletic training major, I have many reflections on my time at the Dayton Regional STEM School. Whether it is in social aspects, personal aspects, or my learning and knowledge. The first thing that comes to mind when I think of my growth at STEM is persistence and digging in my heels to get work done.

 

My junior year was a very rough year on me. I had spiraling health issues that the doctors are still figuring out, with chronic high level pain. This flat out sucked, especially because I had an invisible illness. These illness are not problems that are blatantly available. This makes it really hard on the victim (as I call it), since people don’t necessarily know you aren’t okay, normal, or suffering. These health issues caused me to miss 50 (Yes, I said 50) days of school because of how much pain I was in. I was constantly swamped with piles of make-up work that would make others cringe. But I grew a lot in that year. It showed me that despite what I believed, I was an incredibly strong person, stronger than I ever believed. If I grit my teeth and dig in my heels, I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. As well it showed me that I don't need everyone's support to believe in myself. I lost numerous friends that year that I thought were true, but my core friends -the ones who have been there since the beginning- are always there for me no matter what. A real friend is there when the whole world walks away from you. They are just a phone call or drive away, and can make any of my doubts or fears go away. To say that I am proud of myself for ending the year with mostly A's and B's, is an understatement. Just when I think I can’t handle it, I pull myself up and finish the job. 

  

I believe my I am what I am poems really demonstrate this. Every two years at STEM, I have been assigned an “I am what I am” poem (8th and 10th grade, with 12th grade being on my own). These poems really reflect of how I think I perceive myself and my self-given limitations, as I try to describe myself to others. During the drafting process in 8th grade I was really concerned and anxious about this poem. I had just changed school and hardly knew my class. What I was about to tell them may change how they feel about me or give them a different idea of who I was. I was really concerned that they would think I was a very superficial. In 10th grade I was more open about who I was. I wanted to be able to open up to these people that I had known since 8th grade, but I was still shy are reserved in how I wanted to portray myself. Because in the end I didn’t like myself and wanted people not to see that image, but rather a self-imposed image of myself. Through my senior year, I realize that all that hiding was a waste. This gray land of maybe they like me- maybe they don’t, doesn’t exist. People will either like me and want to be my friend, or they don’t. The people I have been trying to “impress” most of my life shouldn’t matter to me. If they won’t give me the time of day, then I am wasting my time trying to appeal to that crowd.